Alexander Graham Bell on “Unlocking the iPhone.”

Bloody hell, bloody hell, bloody hell. Has this New Jersey boy any respect? Apple computer worked their arses off patenting the iPhone so AT&T could have yet another monopoly. If you ask me, a patent that doesn’t perpetuate a monopoly is no patent at all.

Who does this lad think he is taking a soldering iron to something that cost his entire summer’s worth of busboy wages?

Leave the inventing to the inventors, especially those working for faceless corporations with greedy stockholders.

Of course, you can’t forget the aesthetic aspect. Growing up in the gloomy, overcast, emerald paradise of Scotland, I know a thing or two about beauty. I, for one, cannot fathom removing the gleaming metal backing of an iPhone to expose the hideous mess of circuit board and wires. Which leads me to my next point.

As a Scotsman and an AT&T man I say this: Shame on you.

Because you, New Jersey lad, have single-handedly caused both the Apple and AT&T clans serious anguish—by sticking your soldering iron up their corporate kilts.